Money Squabbles in Marriage

Money Squabbles in Marriage

Q.    We squabble over money and this is fast becoming a problem in our Marriage. What can we do? We really want to serve the Lord.

A.   The Lord is committed to you, and also to leading you out of your quandary. Thus your first step is listening to Him. If you can both embrace His way and Word, you’re well on the way to knowing His victory over your dilemma. Then:

Trust your Lord totally. Money gives people a sense of security and status. It also enables them to indulge their materialism and carnality. We are often never satisfied with what we have, so we tend to hoard and bicker when we feel our partner is threatening our security.    Heb 13:5-6 says we can afford to be content with what we have for “Hehath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Transfer your trust in and dependence upon money and things to the Lord alone. We are apt to love what we trust and 1 Tim 6:10 tells that the love of money is the root of all evil. The love of money will impair your love for the Lord, and your love for your spouse; fall out of love with money! Wealth is fickle and temporary; God is eternal and He promises to fulfil you forever. Look to Him for your security.

Develop a Generous Heart. Your Heavenly Father is generous and it is appropriate that this characteristic develops in you, His children, too. Whatever you have, you received from Him, and He has given you temporal blessings not only to enjoy but also to use to His glory and in His service. You’re actually stewards of His grace! If you read 1 Pet 4:10 correctly you’ll note that His gifts are for your blessing, and to bless others too. Listen to your Lord and allow Him to direct your heart of generosity; you’ll not be deprived – have a good look at Prov 11:24 which tells that generosity enriches while hoarding makes one poor! See also Lk 6:38.

Let God Have First Place in Your Finances. Tithes are not a gift to God; they belong to Him andshould be paid to Him as a priority. We learn about this in Mal 3:8-12, which also teaches that it’s beyond our tithes that we begin to give to God! This matter is an important part of trusting God! Even the Lord Jesus teaches in Lk 16:10-12 that your faithfulness in finances, “unrighteous mammon”, opens the door for “true riches” of the Spirit, and “that which is your own.”

The only way you can honour God in your Finances is to sanctify them to His purposes – that’s the true spirit of stewardship. Administer them on His behalf, in His interests and for His glory.

Love Your Spouse With Total Commitment. Your God-given partner and your Marriage is your priority after your commitment to the Lord. Your Marriage is designed to portray the union between Christ and His Church and the enemy will do his foulest best to damage your relationship with each other.If he can get this right, he succeeds also in besmirching the Name of the Lord Jesus.

Matt 6:19-24, while teaching that we can’t serve God and mammon (riches), also suggests that it would be foolhardy for a couple to allow money or wealth to separate them. After all, how can money become more important to you than the preciousness of the one with whom you are joined in Holy Matrimony? That only happens when you let it!

Focus Your Attention on Issues of Greater Importance than Money. 1 Tim 6:6-12 is so important in this discussion. Having warned against the deceitfulness of riches, Paul points to greater concerns – godliness, contentment, (which he describes as the real measure of “great gain”), righteousness, faith, love, patience, meekness, the good fight of faith and eternal life! He teaches clearly that riches lure one into the snare of foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown their captives in destruction and perdition, cause them to “err from the faith” and result in “many sorrows”.

Don’t squabble over money; trust the Lord for all your needs and future, and resolve your differences and conflicts with Him; after all He is the Senior Partner in your Marriage!