Falling Out of Love

Falling Out of Love

Q. I’m falling out of love with my husband (and he with me), and I’m tempted to have an affair. What would be the harm?

A. If you’re not serious about your relationship with God, then go ahead and do as you please. Of course, there will be consequences – possibly eternal! That’s precisely Satan’s plan for, and the world’s attitude towards, God’s Institution of Marriage.

However, if you’re a woman of integrity, and have given your life to the Lord, it’s an entirely different matter. God does not believe in Divorce and will not tolerate unfaithfulness or adultery in a Marriage.

Marriage may be a minefield and many are the injustices a husband or wife may experience. However, while I don’t know the factors that lead to your question, God does, and He has a way to meet your deepest need and enable you to resist violating the Holy Covenant that Marriage is. More than an arrangement between a man and a woman, Christian Marriage is a Covenant between a man, a woman and God, Who should be seen as the Senior Partner in the Covenant.

Look to the Lord, your Senior Partner, to give you the grace you need not only to survive, but to triumph in a glorious turn-around that will be a blessing to you, your husband and your God.

Here are some steps to follow:

  • There’s really no such thing as “falling out of love.” It starts as a decision you have made; it is sin and must be repented of.
  • Make a decision to “bring to the party” what you’ve been withholding. Do it with Jesus’ help and for His sake.
  • Talk to your husband, humbly, about the breakdown and how he has been contributing to it. And how you bear responsibility too.
  • Actively forgive each other.
  • Preferably with your husband, take the Elders of your Assembly into your confidence, and ask for their guidance and support through your difficulty. It is a serious one and needs their input.
  • Change your attitude to one of positive faith and begin to believe, and expect, that God will turn your Marriage around. The truth is that He has greater blessing in store for you than you could ever imagine.