Q. We enjoy dating and everybody’s doing it. Why are some of our Elders so against it?
A. Short answer: For probably the same reason you would stop your 3-year-old brother playing with fire!
But you need more of an answer than that.
First of all, never follow the crowd. Everybody ‘doing it’ doesn’t make it right. The crowd crucified Jesus. Crowds destroy our country and kill with ‘mob justice’. Is that OK? Crowds are always led by inflamed passion, never by principle. Do you want to be led by your feelings or by the Holy Spirit? The pleasure of a brief moment can end in eternal sorrow. Jesus died to give you victory over sin.
If you love the Lord and are serious about serving Him and living a pure life for Him, here are a few pointers for you to consider:
- As you grow up (I take it you’re a young person), it’s real wisdom to choose your friends carefully. You can’t fly with eagles if you walk with turkeys. The Bible says bad friends will corrupt you.
- Be sure to hang around with a group of friends. There’s safety in groups of good and godly friends with whom you can enjoy good fun. If they love the Lord, they will encourage you, and you will encourage them too, to live purely for Jesus. Good friends warn each other of dangerous things. 1 Cor 15:33, Ps 1, especially v1.
- When your emotions are aroused, and they will be, be strong against temptation; the Lord is right there with you and will help you through! Please read 1Cor 7:1-2, 2Cor 10:4-6.
- Your emotions are not evil; abusing them is! God gave you feelings and desires; they are good – but they must be kept for Marriage.
- Don’t start dating until you are ready for Marriage. And then don’t allow dating to become something that is shallow and selfish. Dating is preparation for Marriage – not for letting your hair down!
- Keep intimacy for the one person with whom you will share the rest of your life in the blessing of God. Thousands and thousands of young people who’ve had sex before Marriage will tell you of the sorrow and shame and insecurity their actions have brought into their Marriages later on.
- Check these things out with your Elders; God has given them wisdom to guide you. They are not ‘Kill Joys’; they ‘watch for your souls’ because God loves and values you – and so do they!