Q. I’m gay, hate being gay and don’t know how to not be gay. I have no reason to live and want to end my life. Physically and sexually abused as a teen, I lived in a pigsty of group homes where the abuse continued until I finally prostituted myself with men before I turned 20. Now I have full-blown AIDS. Doctors told me that my death wish would soon be fulfilled and Christians hated me even more. The churches I visited all called me an “abomination” and “unclean.” I was simply reaping what I had sowed. No one has offered any help or deliverance and now I wonder if the God they represent has not written me off too. The only “help” I received was from one pastor who told me it’s OK to be gay because God is love. How could he lie to me? Now I hear that if I kill myself, God will still judge me! Scary stuff! Is there any hope for me?
A. Thank you for taking the trouble to write; my heart goes out to you and, right at the outset, I want you to know that there IS hope for you! I’m sorry that you’ve encountered “Christians” who have seem to have little of the Spirit of Christ and have even lied to you.
My answer may be tough, but it is the Truth, and it does come with the Love of Jesus. Being gay is indeed an abomination to God; the Bible says so. It also says that the soul that sins will die eternally; not oblivion, but eternal judgment and separation from God, His goodness and love and everything else desirable.
But God, Who is love, has proven His love by offering to you personally the free gift of JESUS CHRIST his Son. In this way He has made a Way for you to escape from your horrific dilemma. The “way of escape” is neither greater effort on your part nor some set of rules to live by, since these would be putting the cart before the horse. God’s “Way” is His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and your escape is a personal relationship with Him.
Now let’s address your past. Stop justifying your sinful actions and nature by blaming your past. It’s the evil hearts we are born with that cause us to choose to sin. It was ultimately your choice! And you and I will answer to God for this. Until you come to terms with this reality you will never be able to enter the love, forgiveness, cleansing, peace and acceptance that God offers you.
All sin merits eternal judgment. Homosexuality is no worse a sin than stealing or lying; they all receive the same terrible “reward” – total and eternal separation from God and His love. Your only hope is that hope which is based in Jesus Christ. God sent Him to die in your place. Now all you must do is to agree with God that you deserve His judgment, repent of your sins and sinfulness, and then accept His free gift of eternal life through the Lord Jesus.
This is the foundation, the only foundation, to build on. It is the beginning of that personal relationship with the Lord Jesus, which holds all the answers, even the answer to release from homosexuality. I have never been gay, but I have been a sinner and a slave to other sins, so I still understand, on a basic level, what you’re facing. And Jesus saves!
Because we are slaves to sin, our best efforts cannot secure our freedom from sin. Just like I had to do, you must call out to God, tell Him of your total inadequacy and ask Him to set you free – as only He can do. He is waiting for you to realise that you cannot set yourself free. Give Him complete control of your life. Romans 6:16-18 tells of being set free from the slavery we’ve been discussing. It involves putting to death, totally, our old, sinful natures and entering into a new life in Jesus. And only God can produce this in us.
Jesus faced the very temptations you face, Heb 4:15, refused to bow to them – He was without sin – then died to overcome your temptations and judgment, and set you free, if you will let Him.
Finally, although you may be cautious about this, get into good and godly Christian fellowship. It’s God’s way for your strength and development. Also, since your dilemma is of many years standing, you will need a good deal of personal attention. If you are serious about serving the Lord, good church elders would love to help and guide you into the victory the Lord Jesus has for you. I’ll be praying for you!